I've thought about self-care so much this year, from hosting a read-along of Real Self-Care by Pooja Lakshmin for friends last spring to working with clients on their self-care practices to getting My Inner Harbour up and running. So I thought it would be helpful for me to actual capture how I practiced what I preached this year. 

Here are 5 ways I practiced my own self-care this year:

1. Limited screen time (thank you ScreenZen app) and read more novels. I love reading and it was so good for me to spend more of my evenings enjoying a good story vs. scrolling. 

2. Moved my body as often as I could, whether through dancing in the kitchen while making dinner, going for a walk with a friend or working out at home or with my trainer. Also got to do a kayak trip with my dad that was amazing! 

3. Prioritized time with friends! My husband and I both highly value friendships and work to support each others' ability to get out of the house and spend time with them. Friends are critical and I loved every coffee date, book club meeting, pickleball game, and impromptu hang out. Highlight: the Garden Party with a dash of poetry I hosted this summer. 

4. Regular spiritual direction. Similar to therapy, spiritual direction is about listening deeply to your life in the presence of a compassionate witness. That one hour with my spiritual director every month gives me a container to examine how I'm really doing, make space for all my various experiences and emotions and practice grounding. 

5. Permission to slow down. I regularly give myself permission to slow down and not accomplish all the things on my to-do list in favour of actually savouring time in the garden, playing a game with my kids, getting out to the beach or taking a nap! Is it easy? No, that's why I have to repeat myself regularly! Is it worth it? Every time. 

What about you? How have you cared for yourself this year? 

Do you journal? I've journaled in different formats off and on for years, noticing that in different seasons certain ways of engaging are easier than others. Lists were all I could manage in the early days of parenting, but I love a good memory deep dive. One year, my family each wrote down their favourite holiday memories from childhood and it was fascinating to see what was meaningful to all of us. 

What kind of prompt do you resonate most with? What makes it easy to write? 

Want more inspiration? Check out these awesome journalling resources: 

"Writing Home: A Whole Life Practice" by local poet Mary Ann Moore (available in our local library or on her website.)

The International Association of Journal Writing 

In her best-selling book, “Real Self-Care”, Pooja Lakschmin, a psychiatrist, asks us to consider what self-care really is. In an age of myriad wellness products and services it can feel overwhelming to know what really makes a difference and what doesn’t.

Lakshmin makes the case the self-care isn’t actually any one of those services or products. “Self-care is an inside job,” she says. Meaning that what makes any particular self-care practice or method effective is how we’re approaching it internally.

In her book, Lakshmin differentiates between methods and principles. We have thousands of wonderful self-care methods, but we need solid principles to help guide us in choosing the methods we need. When we know what our core values are, have boundaries in place to protect those values and can speak kindly and compassionately to ourselves about our needs, we’re doing the real work of self-care. 

My hope is that My Inner Harbour will help members lay the foundation of true self-care. Our space is set up to help members gain insight into their own core values, explore setting boundaries and practice speaking compassionately to themselves.