April is National Poetry Month and we'll be focussing on creativity around here. I wanted to share my reflection from our April newsletter on why art and creativity are so important: 

"You may or may not know that I love poetry! Often, this surprises people. Poetry? And you're right, not all poetry. Specifically, I love poetry that is accessible, relatable and reflective. I want to easily understand most of what I'm reading, but also be prompted to slow down and really absorb what the poet is pointing me toward. I like getting out of my left-brain, logical, thesis-trained brain and into a space where words touch our emotional core. Where we feel a truth deep in our bones. 

Poetry doesn't have a monopoly on this experience. All art plays this important function for us. Visual art, novels, music, theatre, and dance all helps shift us out of our usual ways of thinking, opening us up to new understanding or learning, affirming our experiences or helping us grow empathy for experiences we're unfamiliar with. 

Even better, art calls us into connection. Art is always a conversation between the artist and the viewer or reader. It's also a source of kinship when you find others who love the same art you do! 

So this is your invitation, what connections would you like to be part of this month? What art would you like to create and what art would you like to experience?" 

(If you'd like to receive the monthly newsletter, you can sign up on our website at the bottom of the homepage! Our newsletters usually have a reflection, prompts, information on upcoming events and a blessing.)

    

Invitations are powerful. All of us want to feel like our company is wanted and appreciated, that someone else enjoys spending time with us and wants us around. And all of us benefit from positive, meaningful connections! 

Invitations work best when we're specific. "Would you like to go thrift-store shopping with me on Friday afternoon?" is much clearer than, "Want to hang out this weekend?" 

Invitations work best when we're clear about our hopes or expectations, "Would you like to go for walk around Westwood tomorrow? I'd like to get to know you better." 

And invitations work best when we can let go of the outcome. Trust that the people who are a good fit for you will make the effort to connect with you, even if they don't have time on that particular Friday or would prefer to sit and get coffee rather walk. Trust that the people that don't respond or always say no, maybe aren't the best fit for this season of your life. Either way, making the invitation gives you the best chance of a good connection or at least helpful information for next time. 

Don't second-guess making the invite. Better to try and not have it pan out, than not try at all! 
Don't assume people will be busy or don't want to. Remember, all of us appreciate being invited, even if we can't make it this time. 
Don't take a "no, thanks" personally! Reach out again another time, or reach out to someone else. 

So, who would you like to invite and what would you like to invite them to? 

Happy connecting!

Imagine this is your best friend checking in on you. How would you answer? 

Sometimes all we need to do is slow down long enough to really hear ourselves and we immediately know what we need and what we'd like to focus on. 

Sometimes even when we slow down everything feels chaotic or overwhelming and it's hard to really focus in on what might help or who could support us. 

One of the easiest (and hardest) ways to reconnect with ourselves is to breathe. Yep, that simple and also that difficult. When we take slow, deep breaths we're opening ourselves up and that can feel vulnerable. Maybe there are feelings we're not quite ready to experience or thoughts we're not sure we want to look at too carefully. Maybe we know the tears are right there waiting and it feels like too much energy to let them out. 

And maybe that might answer the question of what you need: a safe space to practice being vulnerable with yourself; the time and the energy to allow the emotions and thoughts you want to process to move through you. 

Regardless of where you find yourself this Monday, the invitation to rest, reflect and reconnect is always open. I hope you give yourself the gift of accepting it. 

As we shift into spring it's a great time to pause and notice how the seasons give us so much wisdom and hope. The seasonal changes remind us that nothing lasts forever and to savour the different gifts right here, right now that each turn offers us. 

Especially in a time of chaos, where a lot feels overwhelming, hopeless and horrifying, let's lean into the practice of hope spring offers. Plant seeds: real ones or metaphorical ones! Practice gratitude for the longer hours of light and the earliest flowering plants. Commit to growing simply for the joy and delight of blooming.

We’re turning the corner into spring this week. If you have a garden, what are you planting? What are you excited to grow? 

Even without a garden, the change in seasons invites us to reflect. What would you like to grow in your life this spring? What seeds do you want to nurture? Have you prepared your garden beds or is there still some winter clean up that needs to happen?

We are hosting a Spring Break Half-Day Camp in our Children's Area next week. This means the Children's Area will be unavailable for general use between 9am-12pm for the week of March 17th-21st and there will be no supervision available after 12pm. You are welcome to use the Children's Area and supervise your own children after 12pm until closing! 

We will also be moving our Caring for Caregivers Circle to March 24th from 1:00-2:00pm to ensure that supervision is available during that hour. 

We will be back to our regular schedule in the Children's area March 24th:

Children's Area Supervised Monday & Tuesday: 12:00-5:00pm, Wednesday & Thursday: 9am-2pm. 

Children's Drop-in Playtime Monday & Tuesday: 3:00-4:00pm, Wednesday & Thursday 10:30-11:30am. Free for members, $5 for non-members. 

Thank you for your understanding!

You know when you really want to try that new thing . . . but it's months later and you still haven't tried it? 

A drop-in mom's group. A watercolour class. GriefShare. Roller derby. Hypnotherapy. Open Mic nights. 

You really want to! It looks super interesting/helpful/intriguing/fun. You know it would be so good for you . . . but you can't get yourself out the door? 

Sometimes it helps to take a closer look at what's blocking you. What are the barriers you're facing? Are they external or internal? 

When you can pinpoint the challenge, you have a better chance of working toward a solution and enlisting help to support you through the block. 

You also gain more clarity about whether the thing you've been wanting to try is actually in line with your values or more of a "should". Finding ways to care for ourselves that feed into what we find meaningful and important in life will always bring us more joy than trying to care for ourselves in ways we've been told to or think we should. 

Maybe you need to make a new list of things you'd like to explore or maybe you just need to take a close look at what's stopping you. Either way, I hope you can move yourself closer to the things you know will bring joy, fun, support, connection and purpose into your life. 

photo credit: @blackbirdbrandphotos

We’re not meant to do life alone. 

Finding a place where you can feel seen, supported and cared for isn’t just good for your mental health, it’s great for your physical health, too. 

It could be a weekly volunteer shift or a recreational volleyball team. I love what @pocketfullofponder is doing with her drop-in collage events and the great mom events run by @itsthestrollerclub and @momclubnanaimo . There’s the @silentbookclubnanaimo and the @sundaysocialrunclub._ and all kinds of local service clubs, not to mention yoga communities. Or the Sing Again Community Choir Circle that happens Tuesday evenings at the Rotary Field House! 

Of course, I’d love it if My Inner Harbour was on your list, too. I want this to grow into a place of connection and care, because when individuals in a community get together and practice real self-care together, the whole community benefits.  

I started my seven days of writing a compassionate letter to self on Saturday and so far I'm already appreciating how much more aware I am of my internal dialogue and the tone it's taking. It's amazing how much self-judgment can slip through our minds without really even realizing it. It takes conscious effort to pause and think, "Hmm.... is that really how I want to be talking to myself about this?" 

With self-compassion I find I have more hope, more humour and more patience for the unexpected things that crop up every day. Without it, I feel slightly panicked, irritable and closed off. 

Both Kristen Neff, PhD, and Pooja Lakshmin, MD, have excellent resources on self-compassion and how to start practicing it. I would recommend a browse through self-compassion.org/practice and Chapter 6 in Real Self-Care titled "Real Self-Care Means Treating Yourself with Compassion: Permission to be Good Enough". 

In the spirit of prioritizing connection over information, see if you can bring the self-compassion conversation into your day-to-day relationships. Check in with your friends! Is their inner critic loud right now? How can we support each other in practicing self-kindness?

  

On Wednesday I shared a video by Kristen Neff about the benefits of writing a compassionate letter to yourself for seven days (or more!) in a row and invited you to join me in this practice for the first week of March. You can find the original video on Instagram on the @neffselfcompassion account! 

So if you're in, here are a few things I'm doing to follow through on my end:

1. Putting "write letter" in my calendar at specific times when I know I will be able to have 5-10 minutes of uninterrupted time. 

2. Choosing a specific place to write my letters and having what I need (notebook & pen) ready to go.

3. Not overthinking it or putting expectations on it. Maybe the letter will be 3 sentences long, maybe it'll be 3 pages! 

Not sure what to write? Pick a prompt! 

1. Think about a current challenge you're facing. Imagine it was your best friend facing the challenge. What would you want them to know right now? How you would like to encourage them? 

2. Think about a past event that comes back to bother you now and then. Write yourself a compassionate letter about that event. Maybe it's addressed to that younger version of you. 

3. If you're writing your letter in the evening, take a moment to think about the tone of your mental chatter through the day. How did you treat yourself through the day? Was there a moment you were impatient or unkind to yourself? Write about that moment from a compassionate stance. 

4. If you're writing your letter in the morning think about your day ahead and how you would like to move through the day. Write an encouraging letter to yourself about what's coming up. 

5. If you're finding yourself in a tough season emotionally, struggling with depression, anxiety, stress, etc, you could ask yourself what the depression needs to hear. Write to the depression or the anxiety or the stress with the kindness of a loving mentor and see what comes up.